Meshael Louise Ali Richardson

1986 - 2001
LocationBarnet, Herts
Age14 years
Cause of DeathGenetic Condition
Date of Birth20/06/1986
Date of Death18/06/2001
Visitors7,951 since 13/08/2007
Creator

Meshael's Story

Meshael was my only daughter. She wasn't my birth daughter, but I looked after her from three months before she was born until the day she died. Let me explain!

I was married in 1984 to an Arab in Dubai. One day his family turned up, which was suprising in itself, to visit us. To cut a long story short, my husbands sister was pregnant, she had been raped, by her own son. My goodness if that wasn't enough, the family had decided that it was such a terrible "shame" on their good names to have stuff like this going on and had brought her to my husband for him to KILL her. You can imagine what was going in on my head. My husband was very Westernised and tried to explain that it was the custom in Muslim countries that any woman not married who was pregnant should be killed. I was furious because firstly the poor woman was RAPED for Gods sake and secondly she had the mind of an eight year old child. After quite a lot of heated discussion the family agreed that the offending sister would stay with us until the baby was born.

The saddest part of the story was that this poor sister (Fatima) was too scared to tell anyone what had happened. Finally, when someone noticed she was six months pregnant, it was too late to take any other action.
The moment I fell in love with my daughter was the moment I heard her heartbeat at the first scan I took Fatima to. I knew that there was no way I could let anything happen to her. I spoke to my husband and he agreed with me that when the time came, we would take the baby and raise her as our own. And we did.

When she was 18 months old, I left my husband (by now an alcoholic) and came back to UK. My family and I have been estranged for most of my life but I hoped that they would back me. They didn't do much to help but in the end I managed to find a nursery, a house and a job and Meshael and I lived a normal life.

One day when she was five or six the dentist noticed that her baby teeth had rotted away. It was odd because I was very careful about brushing her teeth and sweets etc. They decided that it would be best to remove them all under anaesthetic so did a routine blood test.

That was the beginning of the worst time of my life.

After months of tests and hospitals they found she had something called Fanconi Anaemia - a genetic disorder affecting children. There is no cure. A bone marrow transplant can prolong their lives but they are so prone to cancers that it would only be a prolongation.

For a few years she was almost symptom free. She had regular check ups and blood tests and had to have the odd blood transfusion.
There wasn't too much information available in this country and I left it a lot to the doctors who I believed would do their best. Too be honest, I think I stuck my head in the sand too.
I couldn't bear to think of the consequences. However, things got worse and worse.

In 1997, after a very bad spell in hospital, the paediatrician told me there was nothing else they could do. I should take home to die. She also wanted to tell Meshael that she was going to die. It was four days before Christmas. How could you even think of telling a child something like that then? I told her that I didn't want her to be told anything like that. She got quite nasty and insisted that Meshael had the right to know. After a few heated words, we left it that I would think about what she had said and we would discuss it with the haemotologist. Dr Wonke is a lovely doctor and was furious that paeds had gone over her head. Although it was my decision that Meshael would NOT be told, she told me that she agreed wholeheartedly with me.

Well, Meshael got through that Christmas, and the next. But it was getting worse and worse. The bleeds were becoming more intense and frequent. Transfusions were almost every week. Her platelet counts were so low. She almost died three times. I can remember once being so stressed that I wished that a bus would come and knock her off the pavement - just so it would be over for her instead of having to go through all that treatment.

Finally, in June 2001, two days before her 15th birthday Meshael died.
I never told her, she knew though.

I was lucky to have one perfect night, the Saturday before she died. The morphine was just kicking in and she was out of pain for the first time in weeks. We talked and laughed and had just the best night ever. Her face was glowing out of the pillow. She died two days later. Her heart was failing, her kidneys had failed. I had to let them turn off the drugs
and let her go peacefully.

I have never known such pain. I believe that nothing will ever be able to hurt me again after feeling that pain.

I am so glad that I brought Meshael up to believe in spiritual things. She had all kinds of healing and meditation and met lots of lovely people who helped her to understand about Angels and religion.

One year later I was invited by my sister to a TV recording of \"The Sixth Sense". I had no idea who the person was at the time but it turned out to be someone called Colin Fry. He is a medium. Well, I was quite sceptical when I walked in, but he picked me out of hundreds of people. He started to talk about conversations I had had with different people in the last few days before the recording and he went into so much detail about so many things. I have no doubt that was my little girl. There are no two other people who could know what he knew.
He talked about the rose bush my friend had tried to buy for Meshael. He said it was beautiful but shame about the colour because the colour was wrong. How could he have known that my friend Cloe came crying to me because she had wanted to get a BLUE rose for Meshael and couldn\'t.


In the end Cloe opted for a rose bush called "The Breath of Life" it was peach colour! He told me, as I already knew, that I had to make the most difficult decision in my life - but she said that I had made the right decisions before and after her death. The most important thing was that she wanted me to know that she was alright. I think that was my turning point. I came out of the studio on a hot air balloon. And I felt for the first time totally at peace within myself. I KNOW that she is OK whereever she is. We were beamed out all over the world apparantly and recently they came back to shoot another programme about how I felt about the reading and what was going on in my life at the moment.

Meshael was so special, she had left me a letter that was written as if she knew that she was going to leave me. On my birthday, I was crying my eyes out and howling. As I got into my car the locket, which I keep on the rear view mirror containing her picture and lock of hair, was WIDE open, facing me as I got in. The locket has never been opened since the day
I put it there. I know she wanted me know she was here.

Meshael never knew about the circumstances of her birth - I am so glad. It would not have mattered if I had given birth to her - she could not be any more my daughter than she was. We were a unit and I felt for ages like someone had cut off my other hand. I never wanted children of my own but I think God sent me one of his most precious Angels to look after for a little while. Wish it could have been longer but now I am sure that
we will be re-united one day.

Well, I am getting on with my life. Luckily I work and that gives me something to do with my time. I have lots of animals and so many wonderful friends. We set up a web-site for Fanconi Anaemia in UK. Please take a look, there's a photo of me and Meshael there too. Oh yeah, and I completed my Fostering Course and am helping other abandoned children to become whole and feel loved and wanted. It's a hard job but someone has to do it.

Thank you for reading Meshael's story - she is a very special Angel

I know Meshael really enjoys seeing the beautiful candles that have been left by people who have been touched by her life. It is a comfort to me that her name is on the lips of strangers who may never met her but who want to remember that such a special little girl was once here on earth.

God Bless

Please check out Meshael's other websites - made especially for her heaven birthdays. (There are lots of graphics and music so please wait till it all downloads)

http://www.geocities.com/dadtochris7/meshaelbd.html
http://www.geocities.com/dadtochris7/meshael1.html
http://www.geocities.com/angelmomfriends8/meshael2.html
http://www.geocities.com/brokenheartsnews3/meshael21bd.html






Gifts

Tributes

For my daughter

If you were here, what a different time I would be having. Wrapping your presents, hanging the decorations, giggling, secrets and laughter. Instead, there is just me. Refusing to join the merriment because I have no reason to be merry. My life ended the day you left me and though I have tried and tried - nothing will ever take away the pain and loneliness I feel without you. Seeing all your friends, growing up, having kids.... grandkids...... it's all gone for me. There is nothing to look forward to but more years of sadness without you.
I love you my darling daughter more than life. I look forward to the day I get to hold you in my arms once more and I will never let you go again.
Have a wonderful Christmas in heaven with all the Angels I've come to know and love across the years.
Missing you like deserts miss the rain
Mum xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Gail Richardson (Mother)

December 24, 2011

♥ღ♥ GOODNIGHT ANGEL. ♥ღ♥

♥ღ♥
You are my angel in Heaven,
♥ღ♥
Watching over me.
♥ღ♥
You shine a light on my path,
♥ღ♥
So that I can see.
♥ღ♥
You are my angel of happiness
♥ღ♥
That always makes me smile.
♥ღ♥
You are my angel of strength,
♥ღ♥
So that I can walk the miles.
♥ღ♥
You are my angel of hope
♥ღ♥
When things are going bad.
♥ღ♥
You are my angel of comfort
♥ღ♥
When my heart is feeling sad.
♥ღ♥
You are my angel in Heaven
♥ღ♥
Who someday I will see.
♥ღ♥
You are my angel in heaven.
♥ღ♥
Keep watching over me.
♥ღ♥

♥ღ♥~Unknown~♥ღ♥

Venisia Bella Gonzalez (GTS Friend)

July 2, 2011

_______*♥♥♥♥♥♥*
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_♥##♥########♥####♥*________*♥♥♥♥♥♥*
_♥################♥*_____*♥...########♥*
__♥#### IN ####♥#####♥*___*♥#####♥#####♥*
___♥#################*♥*##############♥*
____♥#♥### MY ############♥##########♥*
______♥#########♥###############♥###♥*
_______♥###♥#### HEART ###♥########♥*
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____________*♥###### EVER####♥*
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..♥ Golden Heart ♥
*************************

I always feel you near me
Youre so close to my heart
I put your lovely picture
In a Golden Heart

**********************

My Golden Heart just sparkles
Its on a golden chain
I hold my locket close to me
You make me smile again

**********************

This Golden Heart is priceless
No one could ever buy
Its got your picture in it
And thats the reason why

Venisia Bella Gonzalez (GTS Friend)

July 2, 2011

LITTLE ANGELS PLAY.......
............{\
.........{`....)
......{........(.|******
....{... .......).((((//././
..{..............(((((/.u (
.{...............))))))._/
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........*..~....*.......~....*...*.
.......*.....~*......*...~...~.... *.
....*.~...*.....~.....*.~..*....~ *.
...'~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
ONE DAY YOU SHALL SEE WHERE I LIVE IT IS A VERY SPECAIL PLACE
I HAVE WINGS SO I CAN FLY AROUND THEY ARE MADE FROM THE FINEST LACE
WHEN IT IS TIME TO PLAY I CAN FLY INTO THE CLOUDS SO BLUE
WE ANGELS HAVE LOTS OF FUN WE EVEN PLAY PEEK A BOO
♥_____ ♥ _____ ♥ _____ ♥ _____ ♥ _____ ♥ _____♥
WE HAVE A WONDERFUL SLIDE IT IS AS FUNNY AS CAN BE
DANCING AND PLAYING ON THE RAINBOW WE HIDE THINKING THE BIGGER ANGELS CANNOT SEE
BUT THEY ALWAYS KNOW JUST WHERE WE LITTLE ONES ARE
PROTECTING US ALL SO WE CAN NEVER GO TOO FAR
♥_____ ♥ _____ ♥ _____ ♥ _____ ♥ _____ ♥ _____♥
I AM SAFE AND HAPPY IN PARADISE I HAVE LOTS OF FRIENDS WITH ME
I WILL STILL BE HERE WHEN YOU JOIN ME IN ETERNITY
WE GIGGLE AND LAUGH WE HAVE LOTS OF FUN
ALL OF US LITTLE ANGELS CAN GO OUT AND FLY AROUND THE SUN......
copyright� Rosalind Roberts 15/6/2011

Venisia Bella Gonzalez (GTS Friend)

July 2, 2011

☜♡☞ PLAYING ON YOUR BIRTHDAY ☜♡☞

☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞
copyright Rosalind Roberts 1/3/2011
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$___$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O$___$$
__$_______II__II__________________$$$$$$$$$
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☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞
SPREAD YOUR BEAUTIFUL WING AND FLY
OVER THE RAINBOWS INTO THE BLUE SKY
WAVE AT ALL THE AROPLANES EVEN THOUGH
THEY CANNOT SEE YOU HAVE LOTS OF FUN
ON YOUR BIRTHDAY THE WAY THAT ANGELS DO
☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞
PLAY BOUNCY CASTLE ON THE CLOUDS ABOVE
WHILE ALL THE ANGELS SURROUND YOU WITH
ETERNAL LOVE THIER IS PLENTY OF CAKES AND
ANGEL SWEETS GO RIGHT AHEAD YOU CAN
HAVE SOME TREATS
☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞
ANGELS CAN DO ANYTHING THAT THEY REALLY
WANT TO DO THE CHOIR OF ANGELS WILL BE
SINGING HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU PLAYING
IN THE SUNSHINE PLAYING KISS AND CHASE
KNOWING THAT YOU NOW HAVE A SMILE
UPON YOUR FACE........
☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞

Sylvie Belanger

June 24, 2011

♥ ℒℴѵℯ ♥ ♥ ℒℴѵℯ ♥ ♥ ℒℴѵℯ ♥ ♥ ℒℴѵℯ ♥ ♥ ℒℴѵℯ ♥ ANGELS WATCHING

((( ♥ )))
..........•* `*•
( `'•. //(*_*)\ .•' )
*`• .…* ♥ * ♥ *… • *...((( ♥ )))...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
We have Angels watching
Over us as we sleep
Othere gather all our hopes
And bessings that are ours to keep
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
One speaks with aquiet voice
Whispering in our ears
Words of love and comfort
Helping conquer all our fears
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Angels are loyal and kind and true
Thoughtful just and fair
Yjey come in many sizes
And often wear disguises
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
One is a guardian Angel of love
Standing by in times of strife
A special Angel from God above
Guiding us through the storms of life

2007 Glenna A. Baugh
Living by Faith
♥ ℒℴѵℯ ♥ ♥ ℒℴѵℯ ♥ ♥ ℒℴѵℯ ♥ ♥ ℒℴѵℯ ♥ ♥ ℒℴѵℯ ♥ ♥ ℒℴѵℯ ♥

Sylvie Belanger

June 24, 2011

♫♫ HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRECIOUS MESHAEL ♫♫

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♫ Happy Birthday To You ♫

♫ Happy Birthday To You ♫

♫ Happy Birthday Dear Meshael ♫

♫ Happy Birthday To You ♫

Sylvie Belanger

June 24, 2011

Today is my birthday...

╰⊰✲ ❤ ✲⊱╮╰⊰✲ ❤ ✲⊱╮╰⊰✲ ❤ ✲⊱╮╰⊰✲ ❤ ✲⊱╮

═════╔╗╔╗═════════════════
═════║╚╝║══╦╦═╦╦═╦╗╔╗═════
═════║╔╗║═╝║╔╗║╔╗║║║║═════
═════║║║║╚╝║╚╝║╚╝║╚╝║═════
═════╚╝╚╩══╣╔═╣╔═╬═╗║═════
═╔══╗╔╗═══╔╬╬╗╚╝═║╦═╝═════
═║╔╗╚╬╬╦═╦╝╚╣╚═╦═╝║══╦╗╔╗═
═║╔═╗║║╔═╩╗╔╣╔╗║╔╗║═╝║║║║═
═║╚═╝║║║══║║╣║║║╚╝║╚╝║╚╝║═
═╚═══╩╩╝══╚═╩╝╚╩══╩══╬═╗║═
═════════════════════╚══╝═

╰⊰✲ ❤ ✲⊱╮╰⊰✲ ❤ ✲⊱╮╰⊰✲ ❤ ✲⊱╮╰⊰✲ ❤ ✲⊱╮

Today is my birthday
Celebrate my life with you
And remember the good times
Forget the bad.
Look up towards the sun
And catch every ray of light
Upon your cheek.
For I am there with you.
Today is my birthday,
Be happy for me.
My life was full.
I had the pleasure of love
And the joy of my family.
Do not be sad
Look up towards the stars
And catch each twinkle
In your heart.
For I am there with you

╰⊰✲ ❤ ✲⊱╮╰⊰✲ ❤ ✲⊱╮╰⊰✲ ❤ ✲⊱╮╰⊰✲ ❤ ✲⊱╮

Today is my birthday
My legacy is not wealth
Or mighty belongings,
My legacy is you and your life.
Spend it wisely and carefully,
Guard it always.
Do not be sad.
Feel the wind on your face
And in your hair
And know that I loved you
For I am there with you in your laughter
And in your hearts.

╰⊰✲ ❤ ✲⊱╮╰⊰✲ ❤ ✲⊱╮╰⊰✲ ❤ ✲⊱╮╰⊰✲ ❤ ✲⊱╮

Today is my birthday,
Learn to live again without me.
Take my strength with you
For you are not alone.
Do not be sad
Feel the rain on your face
Feel all life's treasures and
Know that you are alive!
At each step of the way
I will help you
For I am with you always
Until we meet again.
Today is my birthday...
unknown all my love
Sylvie

╰⊰✲ ❤ ✲⊱╮╰⊰✲ ❤ ✲⊱╮╰⊰✲ ❤ ✲⊱╮╰⊰✲ ❤ ✲

Sylvie Belanger

June 24, 2011

♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥
Birthdays In Heaven
-----@""""@-----
------( *o* )-----
--(#)HAPPY(#)---
------(#) (#)-----
♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥
Are there birthdays in Heaven?
Does the angel blow his horn?
Announcing to everybody
That this is the day you were born?
♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥
-----@""""@-----
------( *o* )-----
-(#)BIRTH(#)-
------(#) (#)-----
♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥
Can the stars be your balloons
And angel food your cake?
Presents wrapped in moonbeams
All the angels helped to make.
♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥
-----@""""@-----
------( *o* )-----
---(#)DAY(#)---
------(#) (#)-----
♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥
Birthdays meant so much to you
They were always a big deal
Birthday presents, lots of friends
And perhaps a special meal.
♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥
-----@""""@-----
------( *o* )-----
----(#) TO (#) ----
------(#) (#)-----
♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥
So I'll whisper a little prayer today
Asking everyone up above
To sing you a Happy Birthday song
And give you all my love.
♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥
-----@""""@-----
------( *o* )-----
---(#)YOU(#)--
------(#) (#)-----
♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥
~♥~ Lighting a candle full of love ~♥~ ♫ ♫ Happy Birthday to you sweet angel in heaven above ♫ ♫

Sylvie Belanger

June 24, 2011

♥*•.♥*•.⊰✲⊱⊰✲⊱♥*•.♥*•⊰✲⊱⊰✲⊱.♥*•.♥*•⊰✲⊱⊰✲⊱
█░░ ▄▀▄ █▀▄ █▀▄ ▀▄░▄▀
█▀▄ █▀█ █░█ █░█ ░░█░░
▀░▀ ▀░▀ █▀░ █▀░ ░░▀░░

█▀▄ ▀ █▀▀▄ ▀█▀ █░░ █▀▄ ▄▀▄ ▀▄░▄▀
█▀█ █ █▐█▀ ░█░ █▀▄ █░█ █▀█ ░░█░░
▀▀░ ▀ ▀░▀▀ ░▀░ ▀░▀ ▀▀░ ▀░▀ ░░▀░░

__♥♥♥♥♥
_♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
_♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
__♥♥♥♥♥
_____*
_____*
____*
___*
___*
____*
_____*
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♥*•.♥*•.⊰✲⊱⊰✲⊱♥*•.♥*•⊰✲⊱⊰✲⊱.♥*•.♥*•⊰✲⊱⊰✲⊱
I heard you crying yesterday
And felt your heart-sent love
So I’m sending you this message
Now, from Heaven up above.

You’re wondering if I’ll celebrate
My birthday (way up here)
I know you’re missing me today
I feel your essence near.
♥*•.♥*•.⊰✲⊱⊰✲⊱♥*•.♥*•⊰✲⊱⊰✲⊱.♥*•.♥*•⊰✲⊱⊰✲⊱
God planned a special day for me
He told me with a wink
He’d ordered me a special cake
(It’s Angel food, I think)

I’m getting lots of hugs from God
He’s really good at that
And every time that I walk by
He gives my head a pat
♥*•.♥*•.⊰✲⊱⊰✲⊱♥*•.♥*•⊰✲⊱⊰✲⊱.♥*•.♥*•⊰✲⊱⊰✲⊱
Balloons will fill the streets for me
They float up through the clouds
And we have lots of clowns up here
That make us laugh out loud

There is a birthday carousel
Jeweled horses ride the wind
With music playing oh so sweet…
The magic never ends
♥*•.♥*•.⊰✲⊱⊰✲⊱♥*•.♥*•⊰✲⊱⊰✲⊱.♥*•.♥*•⊰✲⊱⊰✲⊱
I’ve made so many friends, you see
We laugh and play and sing
We ride our bikes and play jump rope
And sleep in Angel’s wings

We’ll have our cake and ice cream
And open gifts, surprise!
But we don’t blow out our candles here
Instead, they light the skies
♥*•.♥*•.⊰✲⊱⊰✲⊱♥*•.♥*•⊰✲⊱⊰✲⊱.♥*•.♥*•⊰✲⊱⊰✲⊱
A Birthday In Heaven
2005 Written by Kris Smith
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..............()..._||_...()
........().._||_(..... .)_||_.. ()
......_||_(.................. )_||_
....(_╔╗╔╦══╦═╦═╦╗╔╗__)
....(_║╚╝║╔╗║═║═║╚╝║__)
....(_║╔╗║╠╣║╔╣╔╩╗╔╝__)
....(_╚╝╚╩╝╚╩╝╚╝• B-day _)
.
♥*•.♥*•.⊰✲⊱⊰✲⊱♥*•.♥*•⊰✲⊱⊰✲⊱.♥*•.♥*•⊰✲⊱⊰✲⊱

~♥~ Lighting a candle full of love ~♥~ ♫ ♫ Happy Birthday to you sweet angel in heaven above ♫ ♫

♥*•.♥*•. Not dead to us who loved them, Not lost, but gone before. They live with us in memory, And will forever more. Thinking of you on your Birthday Angel. My heart aches for you. happy birthday sweet angel xxx ♥*•.♥*•.

Sylvie Belanger

June 24, 2011
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